I am no good for anyone...and I feel I am pushing people away because of it. I feel like I only burden others, and that they should not have any sympathy or be sad for me because I hate myself and am convinced my life will probably continue going downhill....so why should they bother? Also I keep being stupid about hooking up with guys and then things get intimate and then once that results in anything I just feel awkward...then I feel bad because it probably gives them the wrong idea when there is no way I can really commit to a relationship(it would just be too much with all my psychological issues, and most guys seem to want to jump into a more serious relationship too quick as well before they really even know who I am).

I mean I am just the type of person who probably causes more problems for people than I'm worth and its only been getting worse as an adult.

I am not contemplating suicide or anything right now, but I don't even understand myself at times...like what the hell I am even doing and I guess I am pretty down on myself partially because of how depressed I am.