ohhh thank u for the encouragement. they said they dont know if he will appear by phone or video at our divorce hearing but in a way i hope its video so i can look at him face to face & he will know im not the weak person i was. i go to group therapy and i have come a long way in a short amount of time--when i did one on one the other day the therapist even told me that. im wearing makeup doing my nails & hair & i walk 4 miles a day all for me. thank u sooo much again for the kind word! again grump1 u dont have anything to feel guilty for. u were a good husband and she needs help bad. ive had an alcohol addiction before and i took the steps to stop it & she needs to also. good luck!