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I've had times in my life where I was very much like this. I still have moment where I want to scream yell and carry on when I am triggered. But a good thing when you are feeling overwhelmed to do is to walk away for a minute to gain your composure and calm yourself down. I know it's hard to cut ties with those close to you but if your mother is this much stress to you and your system have you considered asking her to move out? Especially since she has her own income? I know it can be hard but you need to think about your mental health and the mental health and happiness of your family. Being assertive is difficult but living in a toxic environment is not good for you or your family.
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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