Yes, but as Eliza Jane says, he does it to help HIMSELF not to help HIS PATIENT. In fact, he admits he is not attuned to her at all! He does NOT feel invested in her or in her life. His only investment is in USING her to try and overcome HIS prejudice. He's so focused on hiimself, how could he possibly be helpful to her? Nowhere does he describe how he helps her at all. Instead, he describes trying to force himself to listen to her (listening is the goal he is striving for! not helping, just staying present!) because she was so terribly "boring" to him. He even describes her recounting of her trauma, emotions, thoughts, etc. by saying that "her silly commentary was equally offputting." Really? Her "silly commentary?" If my T called my life experiences, my trauma, and my therapeutic work "silly commentary" I would hit the roof! Yalom cannot possibly think that he was the best T FOR HER. I would love to know if this patient feels as though Yalom actually helped her. I would also love to know if Yalom was really as successful as he thinks he was at hiding his disgust. I think most people are attuned enough to pick up on the signals when other people feel that way about them. I would also love to know if, after Yalom's book was published and received such publicity, if this client was able to figure out that SHE was the one he was talking about!!! Can imagine how much trauma that could cause her? To find out that her T was actually repulsed by her during the entire course of her treatment? That the one person who is supposed to be "on her side" was actually using her as a personal experiment to try and overcome his fat-phobia? I hope for her sake she never figured it out! While I don't think a T can work out ALL of their issues prior to becoming a T, I do think it is ethically irresponsible to take on a patient (who repulses them) solely for the purpose of learning to overcome their own repulsion. That is just so selfish. It places the needs of the T above the needs of the patient. How can the T concentrate on the patient's story and needs, when the T is so distracted by his own repulsion? Is focus is on her "folds" and not on her story-- as he readily admits. Imagine how many crucial details and painful memories he didn't really *hear* because he wasn't really listening to her. It would be like a T taking me on as a client solely because I'm a lesbian and the T wants to overcome homophobia. I would NOT be okay with that! I would want to be referred to a T who was not homophobic because I would NOT feel safe with homophobic T and I would not want to be used as his experiment. If he wants to learn to overcome homophobia, he should take an anti-homophobia and anti-heterosexism seminar. He should volunteer at an LGBT non-profit. He should read some books and educate himself. He should do those things instead of selfishly using a client for HIS purposes.

I've never liked or respect Yalom or his work. I will continue to not like or respect Yalom or his work.

MSWINTER, I agree with Rainbow that you should try to bring this issue up to your T so you can talk about with him. I bet that he does NOT have the prejudices that Yalom has. I bet he has no clue that you worry about this & that it's an issue for you. I think hearing him tell you that he values you (and that weight= personal worth for him) would make you feel much better. It would allow you to stop worrying about this so you can focus on using him as an ally in the therapeutic process.

I can relate to the fear in bringing this issue up to T, though. While I am not overweight, I do have low self-esteem when it comes to body image. I was always compared to my sister growing up, and I was always told I was the "less pretty" one and the "bigger" one. I was called a "fat pag" even though I was/am a size 4 or 6. So I've struggled with "feeling" fat and "thinking" I'm fat even though I'm not actually overweight. I was afraid of talking to my T about this because I was afraid she would be like my family and judge me, too. I was afraid that because she's smaller than me (she's REALLY thin) she would tell me that my family was right, I am fat, I need to stop being in denial about it, and I need to exercise/diet. I was afraid she was secretly thinking I was fat/gross. But, when I finally had the courage to talk to her about it, she explained to me that she thinks I have a "distorted" body image, that she thinks my family was completely WRONG, and that even if they were right and I was overweight, that that would not make me any less valuable as a person. It was so helpful to be able to talk to her about this! And she was very clear that she does not judge clients based on weight or appearance. She even brought some humor in to lighten the mood. She was like "luckily, you're quite physically attractive, so I can be honest with you! Otherwise, I wouldn't know what to say in response! No, just kidding! What I try to get my clients to understand is that they should not put their self-worth in their appearance. I value my clients for who they are as people, and I want them to do the same."