You are NOT meaningless, your an important person on this earth. you have so much meaning and purpose in life even if you dont know what they are yet. i totaly understand why you feel the way you do, you had a really hard time growing up, things like bieng an unwanted child will really stick with you. but you should start trying to belive what the poeple in your life say about you, that your a good person. you deserve to have a happy life. i know your not happy now, but nothing in life happens by accident, we are where we are for a reason. I'm suffering from a lose in my life and right now i dont know why i have to feel so sad and alone but i guess all we can do on this earth is just to try our best to keep moving forward, and it sounds like your doing that. you should be proud of yourself, some poeple with depression cant get out of bed, and look at you, your getting up and working day after day even though you cant stand your job. your so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. i wish you all the best, take care.