although i never knew my father I can relate to some of this. only thing was it was my mother. you said (but I can't say the things I hated to them), because I love them so much.Well I feel exactly the same way about my mother. I am struggling with this because that's what I probably need to do, is tell her about all the harm she caused me, and how it made me feel. but I just can't do it. while I'm so angry with her but I'm too scared of hurting her with my words on account of her having several heart attacks, and the love I have for her. I'm at a standstill........