rainbow, one of my pastors told an interesting story not too long ago. i don't remember all the details but it is about a guy who has two dogs: one white and one black. my pastor was asking which dog is the stronger one and goes on to describe the two dogs but it is really hard to get a read on which might be the stronger dog. finally, after people have guessed which dog is the stronger one, some saying the white one and others the black one, the pastor tells us which it is: the one the owner feeds more. the moral of the story is whatever urge or desire we feed is the one that will grow stronger. so, if you continue to feed and nurture your fantasy life it will just grow stronger but if you feed your healthy desires to individuate and leave therapy then you will grow stronger and more independent and confident. i know it isn't easy at all but i do believe it's true that whichever desire we feed will have more control over our lives. just something to think about...

take care rainbow. i do care about you.