I was told I had manic depression when I was 27, I shrugged it off, I was told I had ADD about the same time... I was invincible! I was invincible from the time I left home at 18, I was unstoppable anything they could do I could do twice as good and I was on my knees in a dirty dark little shower in a drug rehab in Sydney sobbing quite a bit at 27 years old.

...dried my eyes and outa there and then back in there and outa there and back in there and outa there (stuffed if I know what I'm gettin' at here it don't matter)

...here boy! I'm a doctor..take these, take this as well and take that and then come back for more. ok I will and hey man! on the street, give me that...these and lots of those. Talk about flying blind! nobody knew what to do with me.

they called me the "untreatable" and they put me on the disability.

I kept flying so high and plunging so deep and stopping never to look at whats in between...the ever untreatable me.

then into my 30's I began to get more radical if that was possible?

and of course with radical comes unpredicatable and highly reckless and things start going public and police and hospital beds and courtrooms and on that goes...and a new diagnosis of BPD from out of nowhere but it fit all nice and snug.

up to the 40's and beyond now...soon and the last few years have been the worst because all the excessiveness has met me here and beaten me down and I'm on my knees in a new way but all over again.

I'm not a bipolar mental illness success story yet, not like the 'world' would expect but I'm a survival success story and thats gotta count but who cares? it matters not to me.

I was untreatable from the start...but

something keeps me moving