While I agree with Perna that friendship is not a trade and that you don't keep score with friends (or a significant other), I do think there are different types of people out there. I think there are people who cannot help being loyal, helpful and considerate. It's just in their nature. When this dedication (for lack of a better word) is not returned, it can be hurtful. I struggle with this a bit myself. I never go into a relationship with the intention of "keeping score," but I do seem to find that the scales are never quite in balance. And, I'm not really thinking in the short term, but over the long haul. I almost cannot help offering to help a friend out in a time of need. Even if they are not a close friend, if I can be of help in any way, I usually offer. Sometimes, other people's problems just seem easier for me to fix...I'm a planner, pretty organized and responsible. But, I sometimes feel stranded during times of my own need. And this puzzles and confuses me. I definitely have more superficial friendships that are based solely on fun and light conversation...but, even then, if someone mentions that they are taking a trip and don't have a car, it just seems logical for me to offer a ride to the airport (10 minutes with no traffic...a very easy thing to offer)...Strangely enough, when I do need help, there just don't seem to be too many offers out there. I usually just take care of whatever it is on my own, but I am aware of the situation...I try to say to myself, "Maybe I'm just better prepared in life to be a helper....I can't hold it against others for the way they are made or the way they think." But, this can be a bit exhausting and it can leave you feeling a bit alone. The friends that do offer help are very much appreciated...so, I've tried to develop those friendships a bit more and to pull back a bit on the others...I just can't help feeling guilty when I know that I can help someone and I don't offer...it's just the way my brain works. I'm not sure if this is considered co-dependence or not....sometimes working through a problem with someone is actually fun for me...and I try to remember this when I get upset that not as many people seem willing to help me out. Rather than being upset with them, I try (not always successfully) to think "Well, I helped out with an interesting project and learned something from the process...just another trick to add to my repertoire." I still sometimes feel sad though... :-)