(warning: monkey metaphor lurking)

...I seriously cannot comprehend the stuff that I want to write?

and why do I want to write it?...so what gonna do it anyway better than getting a headache!

someone did it first...they grabbed a pebble thing and flicked it across the water...I see thats like keeping mania afloat...

I mean a rock should sink right?...every time. but chuck it at the right angle and with enough force and it defies physics and skips the crap outa' that water and lifes' like this expanse of massive puddle and what are the chances of skipping it across no matter how splendid or mentally athletic the attempt?

(bipolar to me is like an agreement between impossibilities a magical dysfunction a real mindbender)

anyway so toss that rock!

...damn thing runs out of momentum and PLOP!! in it goes sad pebble failure join the other sad pebbles on the bottom can't breath down here oops!

...please please give me another go I done it once wanna do it again I'm a child here... I want to make it to the other side it's hysterical improbable perfect skipping the surface of life just barely touching it and I'm not gonna make it across....who or what threw me this time get a better grip!

.....so after all that...yes it's confusing having abilities beyond our abilities and the basic structure of life does not change ever!

but I'm glad and miserable all at once I get to do the seemingly impossible at times...even if it's just in my head and trusting that some awesome universal hand has selected me off lifes water edge for it's own amusement!