Often, ive learned in my case at least, we arent aware of many things that happened (for DID patients) our minds as children are like swiss cheese, sometimes we can scrape the surface of our past but dont know all the details nor every blackout that entails. Only two months ago did i find out the possibility of sa from a family member i never considered an abuser. We can have a general idea of the trauma but until working with your parts and sometimes integration, we finally start to put the puzzle pieces together.

The way i often view it in my mind is like a rubber band. Imagine your mind is a rubber band. When you experience trauma the rubber band gets stretched but doesnt necessarily break. But when it gets stretched too far it snaps (and for the sake of my explination it breaks into two pieces.) Now these pieces can each take some stretching but eventually when yet again a piece is stretched too far, it snaps again and then you have 3 pieces. And it continues in this way. While the pieces can tollerate some stretching and pulling, when it gets to be too much, it breaks.

Our psyche, especially as children can only handle so much beforeit breaks. Im thankful in the way it split and blocked my memories as i would not be here if i knew all that had happened. Being raised by a mentally ill parent can certainly lead to trauma, especially if they are not being treated for their problems. Im sorry you went through so much