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I am a complete neat freak, but when I was growing up, until the age of 12 or so, my room was always utter chaos. Same with my desk at school.
Actually, my bipolar started manifesting when I was 12 or 13, and I wonder if there is a connection … ? It’s become worse the older I have gotten older. I am obsessive about cleaning, actually – it almost gives me a high. It’s like what people who take Adderall have told me – if they take too much, they are detail-cleaning everything in sight. This is me, without Adderall. It’s not so much a mood thing, although I admit it’s worse when I am up.
I think it’s because my brain and my thoughts are so incredibly disorganized that I need my external environment to be impeccable. It’s the only way I can cope / function on any level.
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