Im not here or there but where am I? I'm not paying attention to the tv but staring at it...I remember nothing and when I try to focus on it I get nothingness. I am not dissociating, at least to my knowledge of what disssociating is. It hurts my ears to listen to people, my eyes are so sensitive, there is a rumbling always going on in my brain. I have a headache, I never get headaches unless I'm sick or hungover. I am sooo anxious and have nothing to be anxious over. I don't understand why this is happening. I never had to deal with any of these things when drinking heavily, everything could be blamed or fixed by alcohol. I don't know what I'm looking for here.