It sounds like you desire and need Christian counseling. Have you talked with a trusted clergy?

If you can, I recommend you find a psychologist (masters or doctorate degree) who does Christian counseling. Look in the yellow pages of the phone book or call local churches asking for a referral. Usually these types of therapists will pray with you in the counseling session. Some pray alone before and/or after the session. Usually Christian counselors are licensed family therapists too.

you wrote:
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Some people try to say that one should trust God and not fear. One should have hope in God and not get depressed.

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These ideals originate from Jesus' parables of "Do not worry . . ." (Matthew 6:25-34 and Luke 12:22-34)
Those passages are meant to inspire and give hope to the weary or depressed. These aren't rules. These ideals are learned and practiced.

(note: Jesus didn't worry because he didn't own anything. He gave up having: bills, a house, kids, a wife, and stuff. He walked all over the place just preaching. Not everyone is called to that lifestyle.)

Clinical depression is a severe form of depression or feelings of sadness. Clinical depression affects all major areas of functioning. It will cause you not to have enough energy to pray or attend church or read bible. It doesn't mean you are not a Christian because you can't do so. It means you have an illness. Fortunately, you don't need a miracle for clinical depression. You can find help by talking to a trained professional.

Do you needs meds to help your depression? Maybe and maybe not . . . only you can know the answer to that question.

If you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself or someone else, then maybe meds is a good option.

(((((Huggs)))))) You'll figure this stuff out in due time. I hope you find a trusted Christian counselor to help you along the way.