Thanks beauflow. There is no greater gift than to be able to say that you have no unresolved issues with anyone. 30 years was long enough to carry the burden of my hurting heart.

I found forgiveness and that can be very liberating but more importantly I found acceptance. I see my dad in the bigger picture now. That is to say I see my dad as more than my dad. I see him as a man who has struggled with his own demons, has suffered his own ill-fate and who fights everyday to rise above his own raising.

With forgiveness came acceptance. He is still that miserable old fart who thinks he knows everything about everything and can still be hurtful with his words and his opinions. And he is the father that loves me. His style may be off but his heart is right. My acceptance of him has translated to greater acceptance of myself. No one is perfect. Accepting each other as we are seems to have been our ticket out of judgement town.