SU-JJ, My kids are 23, 20 and 18, and the younger two can be very hard on me but I do set limits, even if my friends think I don't nearly enough. There is no excuse for your kids to swear at you in your own house. You are not obligated to support the older two, and it's time to say (as calmly as you can manage) that they are not allowed to treat you this way. Be prepared to order them out of the house -- as calmly as you can manage. Try to stay matter of fact. Rule #1: Respect Mom, no matter how messed up she is. You have a right to be wrong, messed up, whattever, and you have a right to be treated like a human being. Don't be afraid they will stop speaking to you. It isn't likely, but even if that does happen -- would it really be worse than this? That's what you have to decide. Once you know it's not worth putting up with their *****, you will be better able to put your foot down. Calmly. I'm a recovering doormat, and it's taken a lot of fumbling and practice to start getting it right. You can do it. You deserve better.