Thanks so much for your thoughtful response, shipping. I do feel very safe with my T, and I admire her honesty. My Dad is very near death right now, and I've been having panic attacks after years going without. Full body, very-dangerous-when-you're-driving panic attacks. I had one today and called my T, and she got back to me within the hour. She is a great, dedicated T who I really click with, and unless I see some actual boundary violation, I am not giving that up.

My Dad's health is why I haven't been around the forums for a while. Just trying to simple up my life while I'm going through this incredibly painful process, and I don't feel like I have much to give. My life barely feels real.

This interaction with my T that I posted about felt very real--a kind of reminder that I'm alive, a part of this world, and can have an impact on others.