I havent been here in over a year and a lot has changed for me. The issue that seems to have taken over my entire life is pills.. my search for pills.. and the hustling involved to earn my pills. I dont get a prescription of my own so I rely on other peoples prescriptions and help them sell them for cash. Ive gotten down the trade and now people call me everyday to find them or get rid of them. Everyday of my life is now devoted to this cycle and the rest of my life is nothing. I have three children and its beginning to effect them. I have officially lost control of my life. I want to stop but its everywhere all the time in my face. The people involved in my scams dont respect me trying to back out to better my life and the number one person is my boyfriends mom who lives next door. She and her husband get several scripts through out the month and need me.. I feel they feed me to keep me like a pet. If its not them then its others and the neighborhood I live in is drowning in drugs. Everyone knows what Im about now. If i continue at this rate I will lose everything and or go to prison. Im very willing to quit and suffer a day or two through the withdrawals. I believe psychologically Im so tired of the **** Im done... But its smashed on my table ready to go.. I dont know what to do anymore.. I almost hate my life.. Im just so tired