Please don't read this if you'll think it'll trigger you


T called me today to tell me that he had written the report for my GP/family doctor and asked how was I doing after being confronted with my diagnosis
I said I joined 2 groups, this one and one on FB.
This group feels right to me the one on FB scared the crap out of me so I left it.
The FB I mentioned to him and it was a little judgemental and he said to me that maybe I'm becoming a little to obsessed BUT I'm a good bub and he'll see me at the next session.
Well my response after getting off the phone was this loser is ****ing with me he wants money and he just wants to **** my life up with this ****
BUT
Then I thought no he is right I am obsessed. I'm obsessed because I'm still trying to figure out how this ****ing happened.
I was doing so well until that ****er told me that I had DID
I could handle being depressed
I could handle having low self esteem
I could handle attachment issues
I could handle initimacy issues
I could handle a parent with BPD
I could handle my dirty grandfather
I could handle the assholes at work
BUT this is just ....AAAAAAAARGH!

Right now I can't handle it
I can't handle my kids and their constant screaming and whinging for attention
I can't handle it anymore
I just want to go get myself admitted be pumped full of medications and feel numb

Then I think what about my husband?
Whose going to protect my kids from the bad people?

Its just ****ed plain and simple