Dont be so hard on yourself, while the disorder in itself isnt as scary as the name and stigma reguarding it, its hard to get past it. Someone who went through life with hallucinations, dillusions and such could be in a great deal of discomfort and when they are diagnosed schizophrenic it scares them more than the symptoms because you kind of expect your life to turn out like the movies. But remember, its just a name, it doesnt change your symptoms.

For the assertiveness, i can fully understand. I think we covered this in another thread about your mom? Maybe you can ask your t for help on being more assertive? When i first started seeing my t, he told me "if youre schizophrenic im going to be pi$$ed" but i was too afraid to confront or ask why he said it and it lowered my trust. But we have been working on me being assertive and now i can at least ask him to ellaborate on comments such as these. Your t can help you build your confidence.

As far as seeking a second opinion, if you think it could help go for it, but remember no doctor can diagnose you DID in one visit, it takes a lot of ruling out the rest of the disorders. Ive gotten a second, third, fourth and fifth opimion in the last 10 years and it doesnt really make the acceptance any easier unless youre willing to accept it