I have never been able to accept my diagnosis. I have learned to live this way since a child. I have not had the weeks or months of 'no symptoms' like others have had to normalize. I have rapid cycled since my onset I have created so many defense mechanisms. One of my biggest tools has been to use fantasy and change the way I think about things, my perspective, to cope. Now that I am more stable, I have no idea how to think about things or even knowing who I am. Are you lost too? I know it's grueling, but time and experience are the keystones of acceptance I believe.