I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. I know how it feels -- its awful. Depression is an illness that, unfortunately, one just cannot "snap out" of. So, go easy on yourself about that.

It takes time for antidepressants to work, and sometimes it takes a few tries to get the treatment thats right for you. Do you have a psychiatrist/therapist that you see regularly?

I find journalling helps me cope with depression -- getting all that crappy-feely stuff onto paper. Helps in therapy sessions too, as it organizes my thoughts somewhat.

I hope this helps, and that you manage to find some level of peace soon. Go easy, and look after yourself.

(((((HUGS))))))