I don't know what to do right now. I have this huge urge to cut at my neck, but I know if I did that, I'd die and bleed a horrible death.

I don't want to die right now, I just want to cut at the side of my neck.

My therapist and my care coordinator are both on holiday and are away for a few weeks. Both health centres are in closing hours now anyway, so I can't even ring the duty worker or anything.

Please don't suggest ringing the Samaritans or something, because they are not experienced people, only volunteers, and they don't know how to deal with self harmer's. They're only good at being a cup-of-tea-type-chat to the lonely, just over the phone.

Distractions aren't working. I feel this huge pain inside me.