I can so relate. I am terrified at the thought of seeing T2. I've been working on it, but I feel incredibly anxious and scared (it starts days before my appt).
I actually had to take a break during my last appt because I thought I was going to faint. Nice.

I want to quit, but I don't want to be a quitter.

I want to find someone else (T3), but there is a little voice inside of me that keeps telling me to push forward because there is something good there if I can just get through this fear.

But the anxiety is so bad, I am afraid I am going to just drop one day.

It is SUPER damn hard! I cannot wait for the day that both of us can post nonchalantly about our next appt.