I'm abit scared of how you guys are going to feel about this but let's go
I read something on a DID wall by a psychotherapist called Kali something and in it it was talking about coming to terms with being a DID and it mentioned asking a protector to let you in so you can meet your states/alters/others...
So I went to bed last night and while I was going to sleep I heard as loud as a bell a male voice shouting at me and it woke me up twice and I was like come on just let me in, it didn't help that my husband was snoring and I know that I told him to roll on his side so that I could nod off
I heard the male voice again and went to sleep I can't recall everything BUT I had a strange dream where in it I looked the same as I do right now but I had thoughts and actions that were polar opposites
In it I was being nurturing and wanting to show someone that they were a wonderful person that deserved the right treatment by a nice woman and half way through doing that 2 alarm clocks started going off and I stopped what I was doing and turned the 2 clocks off and I looked at that person I was being good to and said it's time to go, then I felt scared
I woke up this morning and I feel fine, not dirty, not scared and still very much in tune with my husband
Is that it? Is that what it feels like to have DID, I think so and I think that is why I feel so mellow right now.
I know later I'm going to feel really weird about sharing this so please be gentle with me I think I'm getting a little more comfortable with the idea now