-Possible Triggers- -Read at Your Own Risk-
I always work so hard to make my parents (that means my stepdad and my mom, not my biologicals) proud of me. I try not to make mistakes. But here I am, doing everything wrong. Today I broke two dishes. In the past, I've broken five plates, eight glasses, and one $40 glass pan/container. I tend to forget to do the dishes, laundry, sweep/vacuum/dust the house while my parents are gone, and my stepfather usually yells at me and grounds me from a lot of things, and all around makes me feel small. He's one of two reasons I have a sort of phobia of men. (most men, at least.)
I'm home alone right now, and just broke a hand painted plate while putting in the dishwasher. I just had a fifteen minute sobbing session saying "I can't do anything right", "They're going to kill me", and "I hate being me". I just texted my mum, who is at work, telling her the situation, and am currently waiting for her answer, which is likely to include some sighs and disappointment. I'm also afraid that she's going to text my stepfather, and I'm going to be grounded when he gets home. Whoopdee fricking doo.
And for some odd reason I'm hallucinating that the ice cream truck song is being played over and over outside. Sigh.
-end of rant-