Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoaster
For me, being vulnerable is telling my T things that feel incredibly embarrassing and/or that I'm ashamed of. The things that I'd said that I'd never tell another person or that I don't even admit to myself. Trust and vulnerability have a dialectic relationship: you have to really trust your T to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of him/her AND if you are vulnerable in front of him/her and he/she reacts supportively, then you trust him/her more. It's really hard getting this tough stuff out. At times I'd sit there for 10 minutes trying to say aloud 10 words. Other times, I'd write them on a piece of paper and hand it to T. But it does help you grow a lot...
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Eastcoaster is exactly right - the more vulnerable you can be, the more you can trust your T and the more you trust your T, the more vulnerable you can be.
You don't have to start with the hardest things you have to talk about. Trust and vulnerability build over time - you can start with small things that don't feel as risky. As you experience your T's trustworthy responses to those things, you can gradually start to open up a bit more. It really does take time.
Personally, I've been amazed at how much more I trust my T than I did even 4 months ago. I expect that 6 months from now, I'll trust him in a way I can't even imagine today.