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Originally Posted by athena.agathon
There seem to be a lot of threads going on right now about attachment/trust/dependency/vulnerability related issues.
I'm the kind of person who won't shower with her sex partners and who responds to "Why are you crying" with "What?! I'm not crying!" So, I'm kind of confused. What does it even mean to be vulnerable with your therapist and be able to trust and depend on him/her in a healthy way?
How much is too much? I think there's such a fine line between allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable and feeling your emotions and completely losing it. But where is it?
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I also had trouble understanding vulnerability. At first, I thought that when I was in emotional pain, or felt fear of rejection, or felt embarrassed... that at that time I was "vulnerable."
What I've learned since, through experience, is that vulnerability is when you lay down your defenses and let yourself just "be" with your therapist and don't try to cover up the truth of your feelings with avoidance, anger, bravado, etc. I don't think I would have understood it if it had been explained to me. I began to understand it when my therapist succeeded at making me feel so incredibly safe... that I did not feel I *had* to avoid, or hide, or deflect, etc.
Does that make sense.. does it help?