I was intensely self-sufficient. I didn't understand anything about what it meant to depend on someone, or rely on someone. Early on my therapist identified me as having attachment problems. She pretty plainly told me that it was important to her that I become attached to her. I thought that was nuts. She just coasted along though. Every now and again she would use words that just sounded way too gushy or intimate for me. As I started, without conscious awareness, moving toward trusting her, I went through a lengthy period of pushing her - I guess seeing if she would *really* be there. I don't remember exactly what happened, but no doubt it involved me challenging her commitment - or her sincerity - or challenging the reality of this relationship we were in. Anyway, after we got it resolved, she smiled and with a twinkle in her eye said "This feels like a love-test." EEEK! Man, that just stopped me dead in my tracks. I had no idea what to do with that. Then there was the time that I said something that she responded to with: "Crescent, that sounds like attachment to me." I was mortified.

Anyway, it was not until I no longer needed to protect myself in that room - when my defenses were totally relaxed - that I realized that the process of getting from where I was to that place was a huge amount of growth.

Once I realized that, I let myself lean into the therapy. I relied on her. I trusted her. Didn't plan on it, but she made it so safe for me, that it finally just came naturally.

When I got to the point where I relied on her - trusted her - so much healing had been accomplished. So yeah... I think the attachment, the bond, the trust, the allowing yourself to depend.. all that stuff is part of what is so therapeutic about a good therapy relationship.