seriously though im being told by family that i just need to do it or get coping skills or dont worry. im not really worried unless something bad comes from not knowing something.

what im starting to be afraid of is why i cant do stuff cognitvely or something. i mean my memory and understanding is compeletely shot for one. i feel very dumb. this realization is stressing me out and scaring me. im started to get very very scare and stressed and depressed about this. because somethig happened to me that i cannot talk about. i just cannot handle reality as in everyday things. god most people dont know how lucky they are that they can shop and eat out and all this stuff. just everyday stuff. and more.

im feeling pretty suicidal right now. dont tell me to goto a hospital. i just hope someone comments.