Hello. I believe i'm Schizophrenic, although I haven't actually shared this with anyone. I'm not positive.
I do have delusions, although while i'm having them i'm positive they are real. And even now, i'm not completely sure their not. No one is my house smokes, or even has, and I've even smelt cigarettes before, but it was strong, right in my nose, and I could have sworn someone was smoking and blowing it into my face.
I hear things, but not like most schizophrenic people. I hear them in my head, and someone else is putting it there. I talk, out loud, back to them. But not to the voices, to them. Their what most people believe to be hallucinations.

They watch me, all the time. Even since I was born, and that's why we die. We all have one, and once they decide its your time to go, they will make their selves known. Your life flashes before you eyes, like a film. Except in every memory you see them, watching you. Then, you die. Because of them.

I think I have more than one, but they are all one at times. I don't know how to explain it. By the way, I have a very hard time explaining myself to other people. They tell me all this. They just, put it in my head. Sometimes they repeat things I've heard before, over and over again. And sometimes they just scream, and I start making faces and begging them to stop, crying. When we get goose bumps, or a chill for no reason, that's them touching us. My arms will go all tingly and i'll start rubbing them really hard and shaking and flailing my arms trying to get them off. I'll look around expecting to see them, I can see them in my head, and I know their hiding from me. For some reason, I think i'm the only one who knows about them. Their watching me right now. They keep touching me and I can feel them.
Every since I was little, I have been able to feel them, taste them, and smell them in the air. Mostly feel them. But I didn't know it was them. I just knew it was weird and felt like i'd been there before many, many times before. Like i'd felt the same air before. I know it sounds weird. Their always watching. But they talk to me. They show me things. They make me twitch and shake all of a sudden in public sometimes, and people do notice. I always feel scared, or mad. And like I want to scream. It usually happens at a certain time in a certain place, at night in my room. When i'm alone. They like to mess with me, they laugh at me, mock me. But sometimes their my only friends. Sometimes they sing me to sleep, and cradle me.
Sometimes I hyperventilate, get dizzy, and my eyes slide in and out of focus and hurt. It gives me a head ache sometimes too, and upsets me badly.

At this very moment I just heard something in my room and i'm crying, my face is red and my stomach hurts from fright. SO REALISTIC AND I KNOW ITS REAL. Theres probably another explanation for it but I know their doing to to scare me! WHY WON'T THEY JUST LET ME LIVE MY LIFE. WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!?

I do have a history with depression and self harm. I've been to a thearipist. Didn't help. It got to the point where I kicked holes in the wall and ripped my hair out and just screamed. Even tried running away. They tried putting me in a mental institute, which is why I don't want to tell people. I don't want to go there. Mental disorders self harm and depression run in my family a lot. They think i'm all better now. I'm not.

Theres something I hate, and its weird. I seem to like being depressed more than being happy. It just feels like who I am. I can't shake it. I feel insane. Maybe I don't want to be normal? Oh, but I do. They keep telling me I don't. They confuse me a lot, and they talk to me all the time.

I don't have many friends and I hate my family. I don't trust anyone, I CAN'T trust myself. I have a very hard time know what if real and what is not.
What do you think? Do you think i'm schizophrenic, or something else perhaps?