... a friend of mine mentioned something about this to me today and it clicked and she made alot of sense and even more sense than I try to make ....and

first it freaked me out I have a friend... hehe

nah...seriously, it's been a problem my entire life! nah seriously, I have a friend wow!!...nah seriously now, I have assumed other peoples identities just to fit in stay safe and not be rejected.

....of course this is only when I have been around them....changed my colours, my ideals, my feelings and thoughts my shape.

it's been so overwhelming with mental illness and the stigma and the impossibility of BEING REAL being me and actually succeeding and getting away with it.

....and of course it's exhausting to maintain it's impossible so in private I would go back to my original colours and shape and how absurd and it's unfair to have to live like that!...and these are the times my episodes would really hit hard like my personality is all way backed up to the max!

I have said many times to my therapists and such that "I just presume and believe that everyone else has got their **** together"....and I must adapt to their world because I am the messed up one here!

...just look at the damage in my life...surely I am the messed up one?? but maybe they just 'appear' to hide it better?

talk about getting lost in amongst it! it's a definite BPD trait as well this one and it backfires on everybody sometimes especially the poor little chameleon.

some call it being extra impressionable it's also a way of concealing myself...hiding in amongst the chaos...the mental ninja!...maybe it's not such a bad thing