caution: another monkey metaphor...

...I don't know if many remember that toy but every kid when I was a kid had this toy.

you would wind it up and the funny tune would keep you guessing but eventually the lid would pop! and Jack or now as I decided Jill would leap out and scare the crap outa' the kid!

thing is I have never let anyone know me....I have never opened up anywhere (well I have actually but it's been a disaster!) I have always been a "crazy person" to me and it's even worse when you don't look crazy. Like the toy...just looks like a harmless box but wait!....what the F is inside??

doesn't mean my life never stopped winding me up!

...and what does crazy look like anyway?...guess we all have our own ideas.
this place is good...it's been helpful to me...even though technological caveman me still struggles with the "online" world.

seems I reached a point in life where I no longer could realistically manage without emptying my pain and thoughts and whatever else I got and it seems to have happened here in a place where no-one really knows no-one....don't have to be a chameleon here...and yet we still somehow know each other and bond anyway it's cool. has it's advantages it's safe it's nothing like on the street!

...so my mental emotional toy brain wound up and popped out here and scared the crap out of this kid but it's ok.

several meltdowns (webisodes).....6 months of moderation...life goes on and the best is yet to come

(oh yeah I aint sayin' I'm a girl that just found out! "the Jill part"... just bein' gender conscious or somethin' stuffed if I know paranoia)

James