Oh, I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I don't think it's just you, though -- that stuff is very stressful to deal with for people who are supposedly "well".

One thought about guardianship -- it's better if you don't sign it away yourself, because you can't normally change your mind about it easily. Most countries will have a system whereby somebody else takes guardianship of you automatically if you lose mental capacity to deal with your life, but you then get the control back if/when you become better.