Just because I need to say it, and because here it's very unlikely to be found.

It's so cruel and senseless. I'll never understand this.

I'm so sorry I couldn't be more like the person you knew when I saw you. I would have given anything to be her. I've never hated my illness more than finding I didn't have the energy to see you as often as you needed and to soothe you.

I'm glad I had the chance to tell you how much you meant to me when you could still understand.

I'll never forget you.

Be at peace, friend.

And to all others, both in RL and on here who are my friends. Please, please understand I do care, that I'm not frightened, and I'm not deliberately cold, ignorant or indifferent. I'm just so weary. As above, I'd give anything to have enough life in me to be what you all need.

to all of you.