I also had trouble understanding vulnerability. At first, I thought that when I was in emotional pain, or felt fear of rejection, or felt embarrassed... that at that time I was "vulnerable."

What I've learned since, through experience, is that vulnerability is when you lay down your defenses and let yourself just "be" with your therapist and don't try to cover up the truth of your feelings with avoidance, anger, bravado, etc. I don't think I would have understood it if it had been explained to me. I began to understand it when my therapist succeeded at making me feel so incredibly safe... that I did not feel I *had* to avoid, or hide, or deflect, etc.

Does that make sense.. does it help?