Quote:
Originally Posted by Crescent Moon
I also had trouble understanding vulnerability. At first, I thought that when I was in emotional pain, or felt fear of rejection, or felt embarrassed... that at that time I was "vulnerable."
What I've learned since, through experience, is that vulnerability is when you lay down your defenses and let yourself just "be" with your therapist and don't try to cover up the truth of your feelings with avoidance, anger, bravado, etc. I don't think I would have understood it if it had been explained to me. I began to understand it when my therapist succeeded at making me feel so incredibly safe... that I did not feel I *had* to avoid, or hide, or deflect, etc.
Does that make sense.. does it help?
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Very well said!
When I get defensive or avoid a topic in t, I am not being vulnerable. As my t says I've pushed back. Looking back that is often when I've gone in with a plan to "share it all" or feel the need to show t how much something is hurting me - rather than just talking through it in the moment.
But really the sessions where I've been the most vulnerable, we've gotten to some very deep topics because I've just talked and answered t's questions completely honestly as I felt them at that moment. Those often turn out to be some of the best sessions. I don't think about how t might react. I just talk knowing that I am in a safe environment. There's no response planning on my part, meaning I am trusting t will not judge my response and trusting t leaves me vulnerable.