It is not so fine a line; it's a nice road, much better than hugging the ditches along the side; yeah, if you don't hug them well, you fall into them, like my husband driving narrow, winding, country roads and not wanting to be "in the middle" because he can't see around corners so he terrifies me, his partner in the passenger seat by barely missing the ditches at the side that would wreck the car -- I explained to him that avoiding a car that might/might not be around a corner would be a piece of cake over dealing with me if he puts us in a ditch! :-)

Being vulnerable is nothing more than stating how you are thinking and feeling and what you want instead of either lying to yourself, others, or both. If someone asks why you are crying, you either tell them why or you tell them it's none of their business/you do not wish to discuss it with them/now but you do not deny you are crying when you are crying.

Back to my husband's and my oncoming driver/ditch example, you make a choice to deal with your own fears/problems instead of putting them on to the other person (who has their own fears and problems). My husband is afraid of oncoming traffic, I'm afraid of being too close to ditches but it is my husband who is driving and in control so, in my world he should deal with his own fears rather than put them off onto me so I have to deal with mine.

If someone says, "why are you crying?" Replying, "I'm not!" tells them THEY have a perception problem and skews their senses, feelings, idea of who they are. Becoming vulnerable keeps things in the middle of the road, you learn to tell the truth about yourself and/or confirm other people's statements without compromising yourself because you know yourself and your fears and problems and have learned to work with them.

I have learned (to a certain extent) to allow things to be out of my control; I can allow other people to drive me in a car, for example. I can drive a car myself (where I can't control what other people are going to do) and trust that most people will follow the traffic laws. That's what is needed in human interactions; we trust that most people are not out to get us and we go our way and let other people know what way that is so they don't accidentally hit us. We obey certain social laws (don't ask personal questions like "why are you crying?" unless we are therapists or very good friends/relatives of the person or they look destitute and alone and we would like someone to ask us that question if we looked like we feel they look), etc. But, given our backgrounds, that can take some learning how to do.