Quote:
Originally Posted by Claritytoo
I had a session with t yesterday or someone did. There was someone talking to t that I know is part of us. He is one of the protectors of the girls. This was the first time I could hear the session but I wasn't present. He was saying things to my t but was thinking other things that weren't so nice. Someone in my system knows him and can exert come control kind of control over him. Like he wanted to leave but someone told him to stay. So he stayed. He was condescending in his thoughts but reserved when speaking to t. He felt stronger than me and independent from the rest of us. I have a bad feeling about him but it might just be that I don't know him or that he felt stronger than me. I don't know. Has anyone had something similar or does this sound like something that is from DID? After the session I felt very uncomfortable, very uneasy.
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I have encountered this kind of thing associated with my DID and not associated with my DID. Its completely normal for people to be talking with someone and thinking a completely different thing..many times I have found myself listening and talking to someone and thinking you know this is complete BS, wow what a jerk or even I wonder what time it it, what excuse can I claim to get out of this conversation. people in general do have their own thoughts that dont resemble what actually comes out of their mouths all the time in their daily lives on a normal basis so its no surprise to me when on those rare occasions I was co conscious I found my alter saying one thing and thinking another, or doing one thing and thinking or saying the complete opposite. its just part of having a free will and free thinking brain where no government, school or what ever has control over our thoughts, speech and actions. heck even those in countries where those in control state they must only think this or that still have their own thoughts that are contrary to what words actually come out of their mouths, watch any kind of documentary and you will find all kinds of people from all walks of like, with mental disorders and with out that sometimes say one thing and admit to thinking another.
when I find I am talking one way and thinking another I consider that a clue that Im not feeling comfortable at that moment or I find that Im in a situation where telling someone the complete honesty of my thoughts would not be good either for them or for me.. for example Im not about to tell my mother a certain shirt that she wears looks absolutely putrid/ghastly on her, and that she really should lighten up on the make up, that one of her eyebrows is tweezed wrong for her face shape and gosh give up saying a particular word she uses that annoys me. so instead I listen politely, nod my head in the right places and let my mom be how ever and who ever she is to herself all the while inside I am thinking the most un daughterly thoughts at times. about what I would love to do to that putrid green shirt, just give me the chance to launder that ... lol
and gosh I cant count how many times before and after I was integrated when I have been talking with my boss and thought some down right horrible thoughts lol
saying one thing to my treatment providers and thinking another... yup been there done that both before and after integration...
yup my opinion...speaking one thing and thinking something different is just part of being human.