Thanks everyone, well today I had another small granual of success. I flew my helicopter for the first time in weeks, although only to find I now have to do some work on it. But its success non the less. Its weird Ill have bits of normality and bits of what my doctor calls mania all during this depressed time period. I guess thats why he says I rapid cycle. IDK Im gonna find out tomorrow! I call them grains of happiness sprinkled in an other wise dark and sad world.