I can understand not allowing the in between session queries via email and text, but I think not even allowing you to talk about this topic in session is pretty harsh. I think we should be able to talk about whatever we want in session. In Yalom's books, he says he often asks the client at the end of each session, "well, how are we (meaning the relationship between the client and him) doing today?" and it gives the client a chance to briefly say how the relationship is going, and then Yalom also gets a chance to say how it is going for him. Maybe if you phrased your question more like Yalom does, it would be acceptable to your T. Instead of asking him, "are you mad at me?" or "have you given up on me?" ask him "well, how are we doing today?" Then he has a chance to tell you if he is upset at you for some reason, and if he doesn't say that, you can be reassured he is not, if you trust him to tell the truth. Just an idea, from a well-respected psychotherapist--I think many Ts study Yalom while in school. Good luck.