Lost,

From someone who has been there, I completely understand your feelings AND I think that T made a wise decision for you by not responding to queries such as "Are you mad?" and "Will you give up on me?" His being there every session for you and continuing to allow you to email/text him frequently answer these questions much louder than "No" in response to your questions. I know it's hard, but you have to trust him. Would you want someone to whom you've given so much of yourself to ask you repeatedly the same questions? My T got to this point with me and it's one of the only times that I've seen her frustrated. Though she understood from previous relationships that I've had where I've been abandoned, she found it bothersome that I would ask such questions over and over because she was giving so much of herself and each day silently answering these questions (it sounds like our Ts are really similar with allowing us to email a lot and simply being there). I guess it's learning that actions speak louder than words.

We've had threads about Ts saying "I love you." Some Ts never say this (others, such as mine, very occasionally) and instead their actions say this. I much prefer "hearing" this through my Ts actions vs. having someone say repeatedly to me "I love you," but then act in non-loving ways. I know that this is so hard, I've been there, but please focus on what your T does give you. Make a list if you need to and read and reread it when you get frustrated over the things that you want him to give that he will not (such as answering aloud or via email/text your questions about abandonment. It will get better, I promise.