Quote:
Originally Posted by SoupDragon
Something my T said last session made me think that either I am a new experience for T (I guess we all are aren't we?), or T is concerned about working with me.
T isn't saying he wants to terminate and I am telling myself he is professional enough to say if he feels out of his depth with me. And there is a bit of me that thinks wow if he is concerned about how I may react going through this stuff, should I be more concerned.
However I was really close to the edge when I started seeing T and maybe therefore it is not unrealistic that T wants to make absolutely sure I am safe when looking at the tough stuff. Also if it is new for him, there has to be a first time for all T's in working through client issues doesn't there, or how do they learn?
So what's more important, T's experience of working through all issues previously with someone, or the closeness in relationship, so I can say "ouch that hurts" openly with T and for T to listen and hear that?
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One of the most beautiful, meaningful, healing things my therapist said to me took place early on. She kept asking if our relationship was working for me, and kept asking if I would tell her if something
wasn't working - or if there was any kind of problem that I had with anything she did or said. It felt so awkward to me for her to be asking me so directly! And she would qualify it at times by explaining that she's not perfect, and that she is fully capable of making mistakes.
I didn't know what to do with what she was saying.
Then came that huge *moment* when she said "Crescent, I need to know that I can trust you to tell me if something is going wrong with our relationship.. and I can promise you that
if you will talk to me about it, we will work it out together."
That statement ultimately defined our therapy, and was the catalyst for my healing and growth. She was true to her word. We worked everything out together. It's been a beautiful experience that has changed my life.