(((Abandonmentissues))),

First I know you need a (((big hug))), and that you WILL get through this even though you don't have the "life experience" you need to draw on to see you past this struggle right now. I think it has been good for you that you found PC and have access to the members here to support you right now. You sure have some nice members here stepping up and reaching out to you.

We all understand how difficult this situation is for you right now, and we all want you to "not" continue to "blame yourself" for this situation. As hard as this is for you to wrap your brain around right now, you WILL get through this and you WILL still have a life ahead of you. Just because you don't have a crystal ball or the life experiences to help you see that right now, doesnt mean you can't gain in that area even with this disappointment.

And the other thing going on with this "young" husband of yours is that he doesn't have the life experiences to know how to deal with this situation either. It is obvious in every interaction you have with him. And he is going to "deal" with this whether he likes it or not. He is going to have to hold up his end of this whole experience in ways he never dreamed. So it isn't just "you" that is going to be dealing with this and learning the whole time what it means to "end a marriage where a child is involved".

And what both of you are going to learn is that all the choices we make in life have a consequence. And we all learn that throughout our lives. And we don't always have enough life experiences to see the consequences ahead of time. And Abandonmentissues, this is not about you being unworthy as a person. This is not about you not being worthy to be a mother either. And you are still way too young to just assume that your life is going to be about "rejection".

EVERYONE'S lives contain "rejections". We all have to learn how to deal with it off and on in our lives as long as we deal with other human beings. And we all continue to "grow up" all of our lives Abandonmentissues. And if we adapt the decision that we are just going to be rejected, then we are not giving ourselves the right to the pursuit of happiness we are all designed to strive for.

What CAN happen with you and this child is from now on you can make a choice that you are going to make efforts in LEARNING how to raise a "healthy minded child". As you learn to do that, you will also learn for yourself as well.

A child doesn't have to have a little home with a white picket fence and a mother and father playing some kind of role in that fairy tail we all believe is supposed to happen so our lives are "right" somehow. Plenty of children suffer in that environment because their parents just focus on that. And because that perfection doesn't really exist, they often stress and argue and the child doesn't get the most important thing it needs, the right kind of nurturing so it can thrive and be healthy and confident psychologically.

I am very sorry that this relationship is not working out for you. But, you have to be strong and move forward and make a decision that you are still going to keep learning and growing in your life as well as helping this child do that too. Plenty of children have grown up to be successful adults because of a mother who believed in them and gave them the right nurturing. And lots of women that are single mothers do still find love and marriage and productive happy lives.

So, keep trying to be kind to yourself and just take this one step at a time and try not to paint a picture of a bad future etc.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes