You must try to be strong and don't lose hope. I agree with asking your ex for help. I don't know your situation with him, but I get along ok usually with the fathers of my kids. Both of them have even stayed with me for a short time. Your other option is a women's shelter which would possibly be uncomfortable, but you could keep yourself and your children safe and get away from this asshole of a boyfriend. The shelter would probably help hide your identity since you are being abused by this man. Please be safe And go to ER if necessary.