Quote:
Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23
Sorry! It's all I have in my head too. I'm fine when I distract myself from the whole med-thing, but then I start thinking about it and just get increasingly confused. It's doing my head in really, all this confusion  |
Yeah, I know that feeling. My brain today feels like monkeys running around in circles flinging poop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23
If you'd accepted that taking meds was the easy option (I understand what you mean by that), how did you then decide to come off them?
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They made me ill, they made me fat, and they made me blind. Plus I never really accepted that I needed them for a
medical condition, but saw the social benefit of taking them. I realised more and more that the drugs are not medications but just drugs, kind of like doing alcohol or illicit drugs but socially acceptable (and encouraged). I mean, all they really do is numb you out.
Plus I wanted to escape from psychiatry. The whole system is insane and demeaning and I wanted none of it. I just got ahold of all my old medical records, including years of reports the pdoc sent to my GP. It's insane what he wrote. One day, he said I was "giggly" and "dressed in an uncharacteristically revealing manner which seems seasonally inappropriate" (the letter was dated July). This was a reason to put me on lithium apparently. Another refers to my "delusion" that I was accepted to Oxford at 16, but admits that my parents corroborated the claim and that I did get five A-levels at 16. I dunno, **** like that just made me want out forever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23
I haven't DECIDED to come off psych meds as I'm still taking my lamotrigine... IDK (sorry! lol) Decided implies that I've thought this through and have reached a decision, but this is much flimsier than that. I have periods of certainty and then periods where I think I've made a mistake and so I really just don't have a clue what I'm doing.
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Hrm, well, I think that picking something and going for it is better than uncertainty, but that's just how I work. If you want off drugs (or certain drugs), then you've got to sort out how you're going to do it. If anything, we crazy folk have to avoid the random actions, because they get interpreted as symptoms of the crazy.
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Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23
I haven't planned anything like how to cope off meds. I goes I haven't thought that far in advance  |
Plan!!! Planning is amazing!! Plus: keep records.
/lawyer
Quote:
Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23
I'm tired of living a life feeling sad and guilty for everything. I want to feel happy again, not all the time but the 'normal' amount. And Mr Cadbury is feeling my wrath at the moment cos I'm never going to lose the imipramine-weight with his chocolate-y goodness on sale everywhere! Grrr! :roll eyes:
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The drug weight doesn't come off from diet. I don't know if that makes you feel better or not, but it was a big lie I was told for a long time and it made me feel like a lazy useless piece of **** for not being able to lose the drug weight whilst on drugs. Not to say that eating from Mr. Cadbury's on-offer offerings will not add to the problem.
I want to feel not sad and not angry myself. Happy would be a miracle. If I figure out a way, I'll let you know
__________________
Psychiatric Survivor
"And just when I've lost my way, and I've got too many choices . . . . I hear voices!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLCfb54e_kM