It can be done. It takes a bit of work, but it can be done.

I was thinking about you this evening. I think that one thing that might help would be if you were to cultivate emotions that are opposed to anger. Joy or love or calm - something that you can't feel simultaneously with anger.

I think of it as cultivating a garden. Give the water and food and care to the plants that you want to grow strong. Then they'll crowd out the ones you don't want.

Or another way of thinking about it is this:


http://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Le...-Cherokee.html

Feed the joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

One thing I realized when I started to become more self-aware was how much I fed my anger. It almost didn't feel normal to be calm, you know? Boring almost. Anger is stimulating.

One day a few years ago I was reminiscing with my son about something that happened when he was 8 years old. It was something his school had done which I felt had put him in physical and psychic danger through their carelessness and negligence. He was listening to me tell the story and watching me get more and more angry at the memory. Finally he said thoughtfully, "You just like being mad, don't you?"



Wow! That hit a nerve. He was right. I was getting all worked up over something that had happened 15 years earlier.

Anyway, it's something to keep in mind. What are you cultivating in your garden? Which wolf are you feeding?

That's not the whole answer, of course, but it was (and still is) an important piece for me.