Hey now don't you go changing your fantastic way with words just cause I don't consider my going with the flow and attacking the problems head on as they come as adapting. I love the way you write and exress yourself.

Besides -
Mulder and Scully would not be able to find the truth that is out there and expose it, if they were hiding behind watching their "diction and grammar" LOL

Got the pm too. no I am not offended you just made me think about how little control I had. Alot of survivors think and say I should have this and I could have done that and maybe if I... Because I have DID I have no idea how I made friends. My DID isn't just something that happens when I want it to, or just in therapy, or just at home. Its in every aspect of my life. I can be on the bike trail and drawing and the next thing I know Im chit chatting with god only knows who and where I found them. On any given day when I wake up I look to see if anyone is sharing my bed cause suddenly waking up to a one night roommate is not unheard of around here. I can be on the city bus line and some one will come on with mens calogne and the next thing I know Im i have no idea where doing I have no idea what. So for me whether Im choosing to be socail or not I am it just happens. And the only way its not going to happen is if I meet every problem head on instead of daydreaming myself into la la land.

The one adaption that I have made comes with my conscious decision to do what it takes to for lack of better wording - pull myself together, for my child.

So the adaption that I have made was to stop dissociating from my problems and use dissociation for what it is normally meant to be for - not as an excape problems but as a relaxation tool for resting and getting sleep. Instead of running off to la la land when therapy got rough with sKR I had to force myself to remain there focusing on her questions and so on.

But as for adapting from inside no. I didn't have a choice. I didn't have a choice that I was abused, I didn't have a choice that my brain automatically separated my memorys and locked them away from me, and I didn't have a choice in acting out those memories when I got upset. Those things happened to me I had no choices to make in them as to making any changes in how to live with it and so on It just happened. Just like the process of integration isn't a choice for me. I had no choice of entering theray or not. I was told by a DHS intake worker I had to enter therapy or I couldnt see my son. After I was in therapy to fulfill her requirement she had me court mandated to remain in therapy at the discression of my therapist so that I had no choice if I dropped therapy I would lose my son. I had no choice to take paxil. The DHS intake caseworker wanted me on medication and after I was on medication That court mandate included my having to remain on medication at the discression of my doctor.The one adaption that I did make in this area was that I came up with therapy projects and so on. Originally my idea for doing so was so that if SKR turned out to be a "stiff" I would keep her so busy doing the activities that - I - wanted to do so that she would not have time to shoot on me some traditional textbook style "hit the chair with a bat" bull. LOL It worked too. except she was good at making her adaptions to me by finding ways to add to my projects and activities. One activity was only supposed to take a couple sessions.. she managed to find work to be done in my project for 6 months just by saying "Hmmm I wonder what it would look like if we..." or "I wonder what your answer would have been if that question had been worded like...or she would sit silent looking at something and then say no maybe not and I eventually would ask her "maybe not what?" and end up trying the idea just to prove whatever she thought wasn't possible was. LOL But I didn't mind because we were getting things done and still having fun doing it and I was the one setting my therapy plans.

So yea I've adapted as in changing my viewpoint from ignoring that I have DID to forcing myself to remain aware and meet the problems head on. But yet I made no adaptions as whether or not I socialize and so on. I figure DID has been with me all my life and I have been just fine, no one knew I had DID before I had the diagnosis and was dissociating right before their eyes so they arent going to know it now that I have the diagnosis label of being DID. I just continue living my life like I always have - I go to the library, I visit with my friends, I run my support group, I do vollunteer work from time to time, I do daycare work for my friends, I tutored a neighbors daughter in reading when she needed to bring her grades up to pass this school year, I take care of my cat,

I don't let my DID stop me from doing thing , I was able to do things in fact mre then normal people could. because with rerunning on autopilot of memorieys I am a "jack of all trades" so to speak. In some memory pieces Im bilingual - french, spanish, and sign language, In some meory pieces I am musically inclined - I play the guitar, piano, flute and claranet, In some memory pieces I am artistic - In them I can to three poit perspective, shading, water color, oil pastels, pencil and charcoal sketches, abstract, still life and live models, In some memory pieces I am versed in poetry, prose, Iambic pentamiter, Im also able to compose books and essays, paragraphs, In some memory pieces I clean and do the laundry, and these are just the memory pieces that I know of from people telling me that I fixed their leaky faucet or changed their piped under the sink. pr cleaned their house from top to bottom. and so on.

A professional told me that I will come to see that I am actually a very talented woman . DID didn't sto[p me from living, it helped me to live so there is no reason why after I know the diagnosis that I should not continue to live my life just like I normally would.

She was right as my memories come back into my conscious level I am learning that there is so much in my life that I have been able to do because I am DID, and now that I know I am DID I can not only do those things when not aware but I can as I remember those memories be able to do those things when I am aware and enjoying doing them.