You really need to discuss your SI with your therapist, no matter how unpleasant it is. Once you discover why and learn alternate ways to cope your outlook on life will improve. Putting this off will only hurt you, because your SI is perpetuating the negative feelings you have about yourself.

SI is not healthy nor cool. It separates you from your peers, because most people do not understand it. Some don’t want to. It usually scares people away. Showing your scars to others will isolate you even more.

People want to help. Sometimes that involves being blunt. Directness does not necessarily mean a personal attack. It is not meant to trigger you but to provoke thought about your actions. You choose to react the way you do. No one makes you behave that way. It is not right to blame your behaviour on others.

There are a lot of good points in this thread that you can learn from. Use the "criticism" in a constructive way. You can change but you have to work at it. There is hope.

Unfortunately, judging is a part of life.