She pretty much wrapped up all we've ever talked about and managed to throw in some quick DBT and gave me that packet.

I was so taken aback at how intense it was. She mentioned my living situation- told me exactly what she thinks I need to do, but you all know how big of a deal it is to me. She mentioned my non-bf. She knows how big a deal that is to me, too. Too many ugly choices. Ugly ugly. Can't face them. When I left, she stepped on my shoe by accident. That's how I'll remember her. And as I walked out, I had to touch the wall and everything I could to get a new sensation from the sadness that was building up. The sense of failure. Five years and I'm still the same. By the time I was in the main waiting area, I hurried to the water cooler to get a cold drink before I started crying. I managed to make it all the way to the car before I did. But that was hard!

So I'm left with the name of a new T but no appointment. And I'm left with the same problems I've always had. Ugh. Have I made ANY progress? Am I a good person?